Day One of My Journey to Financial Independence: How I’m Taking Control of My Future
This is part of my First 30 Days of Starting FI series. You can find all my posts about this topic under the First 30 Days of Starting FI category.
Today marks the start of my new journey toward financial independence.
Hi, I’m Nicole, and while this isn’t my first attempt at reaching financial freedom, it feels different this time. You might be on a similar path, and if so, I think we can relate to each other. Right now, I’m feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness—there’s a pit in my stomach that I just can’t shake. I tend to get overwhelmed easily and can become overstimulated by life in general. But recently, something shifted in me. I started to reflect deeply on what I really want from life and how I envision my future.
Reflecting on My Upbringing and How It Shaped My Money Mindset
Defining what you want for your future can be difficult. What do you want from today, from this month, or even this year? It’s a big question, and the answer often evolves. However, there is one thing I’m absolutely sure of: I know what I don’t want.
I grew up as the product of a broken marriage. My parents probably shouldn’t have had kids without first working through their own issues. My sister and I were shuttled between two very different households. One was with my mom and grandfather, who became my anchor of stability. My grandfather provided the security that I needed as a child. The other household was with my father, whose life was marked by chaos, alcohol, and emotional volatility. He never fully took on the responsibility of being a father, and that home environment was often filled with emotional and, at times, physical abuse.
My mother, on the other hand, carried her own childhood traumas and still often needs reassurance that everything will be okay. Reflecting on my upbringing, I know many of you reading this may have your own stories, your own challenges, and your own wishes for a different past. But here we are, trying to move forward—and that’s what matters.
My First Attempt at Financial Independence and What I Learned
My first attempt at financial independence came after I left an eight-year abusive relationship. I was desperate to take control of my life. Financial independence felt like the answer, a way to regain power over my own destiny. It was a knee-jerk reaction, driven by something my grandfather always said: "The only way to be truly successful is to never rely on anyone, especially financially."
In 2018, I started listening to the Choose FI podcast, and that’s when I really started saving diligently. I threw myself into the world of personal finance, trying to take control over something—anything—that felt manageable. Looking back, I realize that I was fortunate to be able to take those steps, despite a childhood that often felt chaotic and unstable. I went to college, earned my master’s degree, and transitioned from a low-paying finance career that was eventually outsourced into a six-figure tech job. Today, I live in a small, cozy home by the bay in Rhode Island, surrounded by the flowers I planted myself, along with my cat, Maple.
But none of this came easily. The only way I was able to get here was by saving and investing diligently while living at home with my mom, stepfather, and youngest sister. Living at home as an adult comes with its own challenges. We dealt with COVID-19, financial stress, and the usual family dynamics that occur when multiple adults are living under the same roof. Not everyone has the option to live at home, and I’m aware of how fortunate I was to have that opportunity. But that doesn’t mean it was without its difficulties.
Financial Challenges: Overspending and Adjusting My Priorities
When I bought my house, I didn’t do it the traditional way. I made too much to qualify for an FHA loan, and most of my investments were tied up in IRAs and 401(k)s. I ended up withdrawing almost the full amount from my Roth IRA to purchase my house. It wasn’t the most conventional move, but it worked for me, and I now have the mental and emotional stability of having my own space.
However, I’ve come to realize a few important things. I spend too much money. I make less now than I used to, but I can still afford my home. Yet, I want more from life—more control, more freedom, and more clarity. There are a few things I know for sure: I don’t want children—I've never had the desire. I don’t want debt hanging over my head. And shopping doesn’t bring me joy anymore; in fact, I’m not sure it ever really did.
My ultimate goal is to achieve financial independence, to be free from relying on anyone financially. This isn’t to say I don’t love my family or my boyfriend, who has helped me heal from much of my past trauma. But my grandfather’s words still resonate deeply: “Be financially independent.”
Life as a Choose Your Own Adventure: Navigating Decisions That Shape My Future
I’ve always viewed life like one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books I loved as a child. Every decision leads to a different path, and each choice has its own outcome. I used to cheat and flip ahead in the book to see what might happen if I chose a different option. In real life, some of the best decisions I’ve made—going to college, getting my master’s degree while working full-time, moving back home to save money—have shaped who I am today. Moving to a new state, far from the struggles of my childhood, was another life-changing choice.
Now, I’m in a place where I can make even more decisions that align with the life I truly want. One of my long-time dreams is to own property in another country—Italy, in particular. My grandfather was Italian, and growing up in an Italian household left a lasting impression on me. The first time I visited Italy was when I was 16, on an exchange program. It felt like home, even though I wasn’t fluent in the language. The locals were surprised that I knew how to make a lasagna and name all the cheeses!
I’ve always wanted to live by the ocean, and now I do. I also wanted a healthy relationship, and I’ve found that too. Now that my life is settling down, I’ve started thinking more about my creative passions. My job allows me to be both creative and analytical, but at the end of the day, it’s just that—a job. My true passion lies in art. I love painting, though these days I mostly create digital art on my iPad. It’s been years since I picked up a paintbrush, and the thought of doing so again terrifies me. But I know that one day, I’ll get there.
Creating content brings me joy, and this blog is a way for me to express myself and document my journey. Maybe you’ll come along for the ride, and we’ll see where it takes us. After all, it’s always better to try than to sit still and do nothing.
Getting Started Again: Enrolling in the Financial Independence 101 Course
The hardest part of this process is getting started. Today, I signed up for the Financial Independence 101 course on the Choose FI blog. I’ve been listening to other personal finance podcasts like Afford Anything, Bigger Pockets, and Mr. Money Mustache for years, but this time feels different. Going back to something that once felt like a failure is daunting. Even though you can’t truly “fail” at becoming more financially independent, it’s intimidating. The world has changed, and so have I.
Finding My “Why” for Financial Independence
My ChooseFI What Brings You Joy? lesson worksheet
In today’s lesson, I reflected on why I want financial independence. For me, the answer is clear: I want freedom and control over my life. I know some people struggle to define their “why.” One activity asked me to list 10 things that bring me joy. That was harder than I expected, but here’s what I came up with: I love learning, teaching, drawing, cooking, traveling, gardening, writing, painting, and spending time with friends and family. Those are the things that bring me happiness and fulfillment, and they form the foundation of the life I want to build.
Confronting Financial Fears: Next Steps Toward Independence
Tomorrow, I’ll move on to section two, which is about defining financial independence. It’ll probably involve more of the math, and while I’ve always found the numbers fascinating, I’m also nervous about confronting my own finances and debts. Right now, I’m doing a mini-declutter of my 750-square-foot house, which feels both liberating and overwhelming.
Starting this journey feels scary. It forces me to challenge my current way of living. But if there were no challenges, would life really be life? If this post resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment and share where you’re at in your own journey to financial independence. I hope you’ll stick around as I dive deeper into this process in future posts.
